Prayer
Week 05: Contemplative Prayer
I remember the first time I picked my wife up for our first date. My car had never been that clean. Seriously, I spent hours detailing it! As if she’d notice... But I didn’t care. I was so excited. I remember my heart was racing as I turned onto her street. I couldn’t wait to go out with her.
But I was nervous. I mean, what was there to be nervous about? Obviously, she’d fall in love with me. Right? We had so much in common. We had chemistry. What was there to worry about?
But I was nervous. What if we ran out of things to talk about? We were going to a cafe for crying out loud! And there is only one thing to do at a cafe…sit there and talk. And how many things can you talk about before you run out of things to say?
Our date went surprisingly well. We ordered coffee, talked, talked some more, and we kept talking. I even said at one point, “It’s getting late. I should take you home”. And she kept talking. I don’t know if she didn’t hear me or if she was ignoring me… But she kept talking. We eventually talked so long that the barista came over and said, “Excuse me, we’re closing in a few minutes” and we looked up and realized that everyone else was gone.
We talked so much during the first few weeks and months. We texted, called, and talked every chance we got. And to my surprise, we never ran out of things to say. But the fear was still there: “What happens when we finally run out of things to say?”
I believed that our intimacy would only be as strong as our conversation. But what if true intimacy doesn’t end when the conversation does? What if true intimacy only begins when the conversation ends?
In prayer we often riddle of our task list to God. And after we have said everything we can possibly think of we look down at our phone to realize only 30 seconds have gone by and we’ve run out of things to say. And we feel defeated because we have little to nothing more to say to God.
But what if there is a form of intimacy, a way to be with Jesus, that’s beyond words? What if there's a way to be with God once we’ve run out of words to say?
I think if you sat down with someone who’s been married for over 20 years they’d describe a different kind of love than the one from when they first fell in love. Those who have been married for many years will tell you that the deepest form of relational intimacy comes only after the words have run out.
This is what contemplative prayer is all about. It's like sitting with the one you love and not needing to say anything because their presence speaks a thousand words. Intimacy often begins, when words run out. As AJ Sherrill puts it, “It is one thing to look into someone’s eyes and wonder what they’ll say next. It’s quite another thing to look into someone’s eyes and know you are loved beyond words.”
The conversation only starts when we finish speaking and simply behold God’s gaze of love.
There’s this story in the gospel of Mark about a rich young ruler. When Jesus spoke to him it says, “Jesus looked at him, and loved him…” (Mk. 10:21). Did he know that? I wonder if he knew. Did he know that the God of all creation stood before him gazing at him with eyes of love?
Did he know that all of the love and affection he so desperately hoped to find in all his stuff was looking at him square in the face? Did he know?
I wonder if he “walked away sad” and he couldn’t see God’s eyes of love because he was so fixated on all his stuff (Mk. 10:22). See, it was never about the stuff for Jesus. It was about clearing the way so he could see the God who “looked at him and loved him”.
Could it be that we are so utterly distracted that we cannot see the God who looks at us and loves us? Could it be that we are so preoccupied with the things of this world to ever notice the God who looks at us with infinite love? Our problem isn’t that God is distant. Our problem is that we are distracted.
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 3:18 and says, “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” Okay, so how do I do that? How do I contemplate the Lord’s glory?
01 – Show up. If our problem is that we are too busy and distracted to be with God, then we must make space to be with God. Reorder you life around being with him. Set a time in your schedule to be alone with God. You may have to say “no” to things or cut something out of your life to make space. Make space to show up in prayer.
02 – Look up. Close your eyes and open your hands. Come to the realization that God is here and that he is love. Become aware of God’s presence. Bring God before your mind. Allow God to show you who he is and what he is like. If your mind wanders, use a short phrase like “Abba, Father, you love me” or “Holy Spirit, you are here” to center your mind back on God.
03 – Shut up. You don’t need to say anything or do anything. Just be with God. You don’t need to feel anything or have a certain experience. Just be alone with God in silence. Contemplative prayer is less about doing and more about being. It is about love that is beyond words.
Recommended reading: Quiet: Hearing God Amidst the Noise by AJ Sherrill & How to Pray by Pete Greig